Ready! Set! Eat!

Alo?

Alo!

Welcome to The Plate Lickers! Do not confuse us with "Plate Lickers." They're scurrilous. Unethical, really.

So this is my little friend Lillie and I's feeble attempt at joining the already bloated gastroblogosphere. We're doing this almost entirely for our own entertainment - to rescue us from the monotony, even despair, of everyday life - and I'm virtually certain that we will be this "blog"'s two solitary readers. We're not in it for the fame.

A second motivation (after idleness and depression) for doing this is because we are huge fat people. Lillie is fat. I'm super huge and fat. And do you know how we got this way? How we maintain this heft? We really like food. Lots of kinds of food. We like cheap food and common food. We like fresh-made food, local food. We like hole in the wall food, we like backcountry canned food, we like "hip" Soho fusion restaurant food. Food Food Food Food Eat Eat Eat (Chanting).

An anecdote. Just this morning, I'm walking down the street and I'm thinking I haven't had a Beef Baja Chalupa in quite awhile, I should get one really soon. I need to get one. And then ten minutes later, I decide to buy myself a sesame bagel with scallion cream cheese and lox. As I'm eating this bagel and pulling the smoked salmon apart into these perfect, fun-sized little strips, I think to myself - What if I could have the planet's best smoked salmon? It would make this my best day in a long time. The texture!

And this is when the questions arrive. They bombard me. Where would I get it? Sweden? I think they eat smoked fish. They may or may not have a native salmon population. To be totally honest with myself and with you, the reader(s), I'm not entirely sure where Sweden is. I think I could maybe point it out on a map, but I don't know what bodies of water surround it. Is it a country full of rivers? Are they the kind of rivers and larger bodies of water that are conducive to salmon? I think Love Is All mentions lox in a song. Maybe?

And herein lies the basis of what I think this blog ought to focus on. We are not knowledgeable people. We know very little about a lot of things. We don't know a ton about food. But we are curious, yes! We ask questions. We need to know. And that is what I, for one, endeavor to do. I propose that we pick a subject, a foodstuff, if you will, and we find out all we can about it. And we report back here. And this is how we will all learn.

Learning can be a wonderful escape. And when it involves eating, all the better.

Lil, whatcha thank grrrrrw?